One year ago my husband went to his plant Christmas party, drank enough alcohol to black out and probably enough to kill him, thank God he lived through it. He came home got his guns out, threatened me, the people he had left in the bar, my son, etc. He chased me out of the house, came out after me with the gun, shot it, then calmly put the gun away, went to bed and passed out. It was the worst, and last drunk we had. After his ultimate arrest he went to treatment and will be sober one year on Monday.
So, today will be a long stressful day for me. Tonight is the plant Christmas party. I will come home to an empty house knowing he is there and it will be like a replay of one year ago. I know in my heart he will be ok, he has a support system of his "fellows" that will be with him at the party. I just have that "old" feeling this morning and just have to get it out and couldn't think of a better place to do it than right here.
I have plans to keep busy, but I know the minutes will tick by slowly as I wait to hear him come through the door. I will be ok, he will be ok, I know that. It is just the old feelings, the same ones I had last year because I knew what kind of a night it would be. I know tonight will not be like that, but it is strange how the old feelings can creep up on us.
This morning when I got up there was a note on my computer from hubby, it said "don't worry about tonight, I love you. You just have a good day!" He knows I am worried, we talked about it, he is worried too.
I guess I just would like some extra prayers sent out for us today by my friends here at SR because one can never have too many prayers now can they.
Thanks for listening!