You're right. It's definitely difficult for me to love from afar, but I suppose it's my only choice in this situation at the moment. I struggle with thoughts like "Why did I meet him in the first place ?", "Why did I let him in ?", and "Why is it difficult to let go ?" The thoughts are endless as you can imagine. It is still fresh and definitely painful and I recognize I can be highly critical and harsh with myself some times. I need to stop punishing myself for sure.