Originally Posted by
trailmix 
I'm sure you are hurting over this and I'm sorry.
I think as you take a few days you will find yourself getting more clarity. That doesn't mean it won't hurt! It just does, as I'm sure you know.
Addiction is selfish, recovery is selfish. Recovery generally needs to be selfish because it is a tough battle, assuming that is what he is doing. I would absolutely take everything with a grain of salt until you see his actions.
How are you doing. Do you have any supports in place where you live, friends, family? It's important to surround yourself with people who understand as well. Here at SR as well as Nar-Anon and Al-Anon (doesn't matter which btw, addiction is addiction).
This hurt like hell. I could see it if I had done something. I can even understand about not being able to be in a relationship at the moment. But to cut contact just like that and so quickly for the third time, it's ripped me apart from the inside out. I'm so broken I cannot even cry.
I have not told anyone in terms of friends or family as I cannot handle the shame I feel over this whole thing. I cannot handle hearing the "I told you so" and whatever else they might say so I am just keeping a brave and strong face on until I can make sense of things. I know I am beating myself up over it, but I cannot help it.
Originally Posted by
Hechosedrugs You are being abused. Most abused women (even those who were physically or sexually abused) will tell you the gaslighting was worse than any other part of it. And it's the abuser's greatest weapon.
Also, the thing about abuse: It gets worse, not better.
Yes, I had no idea what gaslighting was in the past, but I told him that that's what he was doing when he opened up communication on my birthday. I guess it is really abusive.
I told him that I felt like dealing with this has caused me to not even know which way I can move. I had started to feel restricted and like I had to walk on eggshells. I felt like we always had to cater to him and his sensitivities. Then he wondered why I was not as positive and upbeat as I was at the beginning of all of this. At one point I told him it was evil.