Sounds like me. One day when I was talking to my sister, I burst out, “how did it get this bad? How did I let it get this bad?”.
i guess there’s some story about a frog and a pot of water. The frog doesn’t notice the water slowly getting hotter over time until it’s at a boil. Anyhow, it’s like one day I looked up and I was in the middle of the boiling water. It was slowly getting bad a little at a time...
I need to work on myself, too. How did I / why did I put up with this? People with self esteem don’t allow this behavior...but, I’m still here...planning my departure, but I’m still here continuing to subject me and my kids to the madness...