I especially like the way res01 put it!...lol....
Any time one is "acting"....it is just stuffing your true self inside....
But, some others have made some good points, also, in my opinion...
Personally, I have always liked the saying..."Say what you mean; Mean what you say: But, don't say it mean."
Remember, that detachment--the way we mean it here---is mainly to keep YOU from being sucked into the vortex of the Cyclone of his alcoholism. It is just one tool, of course...but, useful to buy some more peaceful time and space from the chaos....
A hammer is a fantastic tool...but, one can't build a whole house with just a hammer, alone.
***one specific word of caution.....if the "good times", in between the obvious drinking episodes cause you renewed surges of Hope....it could cause you some whiplash,,,,when he picks up, again.
Especially, the Horizonal Tango (if you get my drift). This causes, especially for women, and increase in the bonding hormone Oxytocin. It is the same hormone, by the way, that is released in the mothers of the newborn, to facilitate the bonding with the infant.