Ugh.
Some people only want something if they think someone is taking it away from them. It’s about control, not affection.
First, call your attorney and get his/her advice?
My first thought is to stall. Take a day to respond to her text, apologize profusely and say how busy you all are this time of year. What are her plans for the holidays?
In other words, respond without responding. Then if she comes back at it with some visit suggestion (which no doubt involves more stealth time with the ex), stall, change the time and place, suggest a “girls lunch just the three of you” and whatever you end up having to do, assume you’re there, too. Show up with your daughter and stay. Public places only. Do it all by text and keep a copy.
They can’t accuse you of not letting “family” see her if it’s right there that you did. If they really cared about seeing her they wouldn’t mind where or when.
But talk to your lawyer first, yes?
P.S.This may not be damning the torpedoes, but I believe it is calling their bluff.