Hi. New to this. My husband was an active alcoholic when I first met him and I am the classic codependent. He’s had three DUIs, a mess of a life, and finally went to rehab in 2011. He did great and from what I can tell he was sober until just a few months ago. I have had my suspicions of him drinking, but when I ask he blows up and adamantly denies. He will then turn things on me like he used to do 10 years ago. I think he would only drink at special occasions this year (hiding it of course) but now he’s making excuses saying he’s going to work out of town and I believe he goes to hotels and drinks while he’s gone. A week ago suddenly he decided he had to go to work early the next day and want to stay in a hotel an hour away. In my gut I felt something was wrong and the next day I looked on his phone records and in a 4 hour period he sent 89 text messages back-and-forth to an old flame that he cheated on me several times with when he was actively drinking years ago. I confronted him about this the next day when he got home and he admitted he was texting her, denied any drinking, and then flip the tables on me saying how he is done with this marriage. Then tries to be nice. It’s been a roller coaster of a week. On Thanksgiving while our family was here it was very obvious that he was drinking somewhere. He wasn’t openly drinking, but he was drinking. When I asked him about it he denied it again. My adult son (his stepson) has noticed it as well and called him today to talk to him about it. My husband said that we have been having problems and he’s stressed out. He admitted drinking to my son but will not admit it to me. My husband told my son that he is not going back to his old way of life, but he is already. He’s lying and sneaking in God knows what else he has done already.
We have an 11-year-old daughter together. I don’t want her seeing this or have her be exposed to this. I don’t want go back to that old life either. It was pure hell and he is choosing to go back there again. How do I protect my daughter? If we split up, she will have to go with him some of the time. How do I protect her and keep her safe from the physical and mental harm he will bring on her? Fear paralyzes me.

Thank you! I am looking forward to reading everything on this site.