Life
Time to move on from Alcohol. It has brought nothing but shame, pain, hurt and humiliation to me the last 15 years. I can truthfully say that.
So much has been destructed because of alcohol. I am going through a very challenging time at the moment. Guilt and what if's. My mind still tells me a quick solution to ease up the painful emotions is Alcohol. This has been my viscous cycle. Even though I been trying for a long time to stay sober- today is day 36. I am going to go for a walk and get to a meeting. For some reason today I was googling three ex's of mine who I had relationships with. All married, with kids, living the dream and their aspirations according to the internet.
Life was never a bowl of cherries when I was with them even when Sober- but my mind goes to "I am the loser" Boy do I have resentments on the way they had made me feel. anyhow just rambling and reflecting on where I am now. Which is not a good place. But at least I am Sober.
I wish I could get to the place where I am an asset to a cause. I enjoy what I do -which is working on staying sober at the current moment-and I feel OK!