Originally Posted by
waynetheking 
Some days are harder than others. Its not about craving alcohol at this point. Its about putting the pieces together after a lifetime of alcoholism in my life and those around me.
Honestly mate. alcoholism is caused by trauma and a biological predisposition. There's a great poem by Phillip Larkin called This Be The Verse
They F you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were F'ed up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.
I'm not suggesting don't have a family or kids or anything. But understand that your parents were only like that because they had their own issues. And then passed them onto you. Unfortunately when our parents F us up, we turn upon ourselves and self-destruct, often by following the same pattern,
But hopefully you can see this for what it is now. And you can break the chain and rebuild everything. What better legacy from going through all this stuff than that? And you have already done half the battle just by getting sober, which is very hard.
Don't get mad. Get determined. Make things better. You can and will.