CA, I beg you to take a step back and try to get some perspective on this situation.

If you allow yourself to be bullied into marrying this person the only thing you will accomplish is building a breeding ground of resentment the likes of which could bury you.

If you give in, her incentive to actually make changes disappears. Marriage won’t fix her. YOU won’t fix her. Only SHE can fix her. This is something her family clearly does not understand.

A more reasonable negotiation in this situation (and a MUCH healthier one) would be for YOU to say, “Show me a year of recovery and I will consider a long-term commitment with you.” Even healthier would be two or three years. If she cannot or will not agree to that, then she just wants to be married—she does NOT necessarily want to marry YOU. In other words, she just wants an enabler locked in so she does not have to change. And YOU, my friend, deserve better.