Ooof. I hear ya.
Gambling and drinking went hand in hand for me towards the end. Guess I was trying to up the ante and increase that rush. Drinking to blackout stage alone wasn't good enough, I had to put $200 bucks on the over/under of the Chargers-Rams game or something to make my night more exciting. Looking back I was just desperate for something good to happen. I was trying desperately to re-associate drinking with fun and success, throwing money into the wind and hoping it would magically multiply and thus justify my alcohol problem.
As you know, it just makes things worse. Some of the most depressed mornings of my life were waking up and checking those internet sports-betting pages and seeing a $0 balance. Flights home from Vegas were pure misery. It's a hard lifestyle to quit. The house always wins. So does alcoholism. You can beat 'em both, but only if you walk away when you still have a job and your health.
I ultimately landed in rehab after losing my job. Wish I could've found a way out on my own, but I simply didn't have the tools. For you I think maybe it's time to give up the ghost and surrender to a support group. Any options?