Yes a very hard time and I'm sure you are in shock and hurting.
You also mention kicking yourself, about getting upset about him going on the trip and him cancelling and therefore missing the opportunity to see his old addictions counsellor?
I really hope you will stop blaming yourself in any way for that.
There are AA meetings everywhere several times a day, counsellors, therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists everywhere. He has not approached any of these. This has absolutely nothing to do with you not wanting him to go on a trip.
Originally Posted by
Brightlight2015 
I want to believe in him to not let this take complete hold over him and stop it in its tracks.
How long has it been since he returned to drinking? Remember,
actions, not words. What actions is he showing you?