Have not posted for a while. I’m struggling with not being able to quit. Now into my 3rd month of relapse.

Also been losing a lot of money at the casino. Life is very lonely and miserable.

What to do? Try my best to really cut back get to the new year and then try really really hard to beat this problem once and for all.

Also it’s the Christmas office meal next week and my colleagues are pressuring me to go.

Thought I’d relax last night with a couple glasses of whiskey, 1/2 a bottle later and 5 pints of strong beer I’m walking home from the casino with no money at 4am. Had to go to work today which was not pleasant.