This makes me nervous. It’s great he’s taking part but 1) once you move in, and he is back to having you in his natural habitat, things could change a LOT, and 2) it’s bound to get worse over time whether or not you are there. I speak from experience when I say it is SO HARD to move a child out of a home with another parent, even if it gets bad, because of the disruption. Additionally, if things don’t go great or get bad in a few years or whatever, you have now be sharing custody the whole time (instead of you being the sole custodial parent) and you will have a much tougher time later proving only you should have custody if you need to do that. Lastly, you cannot trust an alcoholic who is drinking to be sober while he is responsible for the kid. You just can’t. So even if you get “help” it won’t be actual competent child care.

I totally understand the deeper bond, and it’s wonderful he comes over and helps you. If I knew you in real life, I would literally beg you not to move in until he is sober. Actual sober, for at least a year. Single parenting is hard but it is nothing compared to parenting with an active alcoholic or leaving him once you cohabitate. I have done all these things and single parenting is by far the easiest, healthiest, and safest for me and my kid.