Hi Surfbee,
Congratulations -- huge accomplishments in motherhood include putting the child's needs before our own.
The idea of going from your own safe nest into deliberately moving in with an alcoholic who doesn't yet have solid long-term recovery sounds like one that is best explored from a distance of pausing, stepping back, enjoying each day, gathering up & reaching out into a wide support network and first working on creating the life you want for yourself and child.
The frog in the water analogy comes to mind:
As the story goes, researchers found that when they put a frog in a pan of boiling water, the frog just quickly jumped out. On the other hand, when they put a frog in cold water and put the water to boil over time, the frog just boiled to death. The hypothesis is that the change in temperature is so gradual, the frog does not realize it’s boiling to death.
Often the lack of trust and engagement creeps up on us. We don’t even feel it coming. We just know something smells funny. Often we’re not sure what to do about it. We’re not even sure whether it’s our job to do something about it.