Bulldog,
I never had anything close to depression, quite the opposite really, until my second child was born 15 years ago.
Since then I have had boughts of depression on and off, thankfully mostly off.
But that first cycle was the worst thing I have ever experienced and the anxiety was worse than the depression. I would lie in bed looking at the wall for hours, go to the grocery store and not be able to decide what to buy, not be able to sit through lunch, want to crawl out of my skin, the list goes on.
My household was full of depression and mania as my father was bi-polar. But I never knew what he had gone through until then. I think that is the hardest part, if you have never been depressed or anxious it is hard to understand what it is like. I know I tried with my Dad but did not have a clue until I experienced it myself by which time he was gone.
So I second the public interest announcement and want to say that I am sorry you have had a tough year and glad to hear you are on the upswing. We are blessed to have the treatment options we do for depression and anxiety, which is not the case for all mental illness. But it still s$cks.