DiggingForFire,
Conragulations on having a baby in a few weeks. I know you emotions are all over the place like dandylion stated. They will settle down after the baby is born.
You should be proud of what you have done. You have made your self a cozy little home for you children to feel safe and loved. I know your dreamed of doing this with a spouse to share in the responsibilities. But you have proven you can due this on your own. Give it time that Wifey energy will come back and at some point you will be ready for that next person in your life to share in the responsibilities of bringing up your kids. Not all guys out there are alcoholics. Though I do know some that are not good at changing diapers. They at least try. Just be patient. You will know when you are ready.
Have great day. Thanks for sharing and keep coming back. Stay strong