Hi wondering. I'm sorry you had reason to come looking for this forum, but I am very glad you found us.
Sometimes we have to take people at their word and afford them the respect and space to do what they feel is best for themselves, whether we agree with it or not, whether it's what we want or not.
He appears to have gone no contact with you at this time. In my opinion, it is best for you to focus on yourself and let him do whatever it is he feels he needs to do. His health and sobriety is his businss. Your health and wellness is yours. It sounds like you have some grieving to do.