Thinking of you Jeff and sending support. I know what this feels like and it is scary, sad and frustrating.
I tend to get the idea that you are a lot like me, in that sitting around and "relaxing" doesn't help much. I need, and think you need, a more active approach. Go out for a screaming run. I barely run, but sometimes I just force myself as a way to get it all out. Or go for a hard workout. Or shower, dress, get out and hand out some resumes for a new job. Clean, organise. Anything productive, moving forward, doing something helps.