Diggingforfire…….while I realize that you may not appreciate it, now....you are far better off having the baby by yourself than being tied to an alcoholic.....which is what you would have been, if the fertility treatments, with your husband, had worked.....
right now, I imagine that the pregnancy hormones are causing you to be very nostalgic...which is natural....as the "nesting instinct" is usually pretty intense, about now...lol....
I, also, think that it is very natural for you not to want to be thinking about taking care of another adult, right now. In fact, this is true of most women who are in good, reciprocal relationships. This can, actually, be the cause of some conflict and disturbance in marriage, after the baby comes.....
The mother is often wanting more help and someone to take care of her, to some extent....and, the husbands often lament that their wife no longer pays enough attention to him...and, feels displaced by the baby....
The anthropologists suggest that this has a positive evolutionary effect...because it reduces procreational activity for some time...and, allows for the attention that the newborn needs....thus favoring the survival possibility for the infant..... Who knew!!
How you are feeling, right now, is likely to change, after a while, I think....especially,after the birth.....and, after the new baby reaches the end of the toddler stages.....
The natural hormones, both before and after birth play such a role in how we women feel and our focus and outlook.....
How you feel sounds pretty normal, to me.....