I have an appointment with the paralegal on 12/5 to decide when to proceed. The entire family is spending Thanksgiving together - which means my 2 kids, him and his 3 kids and 2 grandchildren. Holidays are usually a drunken disaster so I'm interested to see if he stays sober. Not that it would change anything. All of the kids know what my plans are, but I'm trying to keep them out of it (even though they are all adults). I have my sisters and several good friends who are holding my hand through all of this.