I have had many dysfunctional relationships when younger with people who drank too much had anxiety issues and had a whole host of other problems. But I thought they were wonderful as they put up with me, enabled me and it was better than being alone ?
Now in my 40s I realise that was a load of nonsense. I had little self respect strength or dignity.
Relationships should not be difficult. Of course there are difficult times but it should not be a constant battle or worry or trade off for affection or feeling grateful for x as you did y.
Sometimes we just need to be alone to gain strength refain our equilibrium get sober or just get to know ourselves again. Only then are we ready to share our lives with someone.