Thank you everyone for expressing exactly what I needed to hear.
I went to my meeting and now I am tackling getting this room organized.
"now what?" is definitely what I am going through. But as Carl reminded me
I am very newly sober- this is my alcoholism telling me you are a boring akward mess. This is what leads me to pick up a drink and start romantizing all life has to offer on a bar stool. It lies to me so very well.
Thank you again- I will keep putting one foot after another.
I am so upset with myself I have been trying to get and stay sober for years.
I guess I only have today