Recently relapsed
Hi I'm sorry to hear about your struggle, I've been 3 months sober, we have come from different paths, I was diagnosed with aspergers when I was 8 I always found it difficult to form close relationships with people I would always want to fit in and feel close to people but no matter how much I tried because of the aspergers it always made it difficult and then when I got into college I discovered alcohol and it seemed at the time to cure me of all my social anxiety, I was finally able to fit in, get a girlfriend, little did I know that was my start of a 10 year addiction to alcohol, without it I would be so quiet and alone with all my thoughts, fast forward 10 years and I'm back to drinking 15 - 20 units daily, don't beat yourself up about this addiction, it's difficult and you managed so long without it, I don't have any children and I would find that it I had children my addiction would be worse, you have pressures of having to look after your family, we all have problems in this life and the important thing is that you listen to that voice in your head that says I want to recover and be a better person in the future, the alcoholic demon will come in and convince you otherwise but just know your not alone in this, it can be such a lonely place to wake up with anxiety, the depression, the regret, the guilt, to feel alone with it but your not weak willed, we need each other in this