toots - you are absolutely right. It is not ever only about us. It colours every aspect of our life but for our friends and family too even if we keep it a secret. A fantastic side side effect of not drinking is the enormous relief I (we) get from not having to engage in endless social subterfuge. I can't count the number of times I sat with others, in ordinary pleasant social settings, working out what excuse I could use to leave quickly so I could get home and do some proper, 'relaxed' drinking. So glad that's a thing of then past, where it shall remain.