Originally Posted by
WaterOx 
Sadly, I feel like deep down, this is what I'm waiting for. Just being 100% honest.
Whenever I even drink on a "moderate" level (about 3 beers a day), I get this dull aching pain that developes right around my liver. I've gone to the doctor (more than one) a million times now. They say it's just normal and act like I should just keep an eye on my intake. No stopping, no "you're gonna die if you don't". Just a kind of shrug of the shoulders and seem unconcerned.
I know this sounds terrible and insane, but sometimes I wish they would tell me to stop, because it concerns me that unless it's a done deal I don't know if I will be able to.
I had one of those moments that you are waiting for and it did help me fight. The thing is, nothing changed. The only difference was I became aware of how much danger I was in. You might be using a "magic moment" of sorts as a way to keep drinking. It may or may not happen but at some point, it is likely you will pay for this in a way you only wish you could take back. You don't have to let that happen.
Originally Posted by
faith823 Hi,
My Puppy's name is Monica- After Saint Monica (Saint Augustine's Mother)
Just a side note
Also insane
LOVE this post- I remember MANY years ago doing laundry maybe 2 days Sober during a SNOW storm. An urgent thought (creepy thoughts) into my head... What am I going to do when I get invited to that 4th of July bbq party ?? (my mind transported me to a laid back bbq sunny 82 degree's )AND I can not NOT drink ..(now I know its not a punishment NOT drinking) I might as well drink until after the 4th.
Guess who was drunk by herself wandering the city getting drunk by herself in the rain on 7/4 And low and behold..No invite to any BBQ's those for some reason mmm? wonder why.
*********************
Since there was a connection we should probably both read St. Augustine quotes until something makes sense to us. That's how SR works for me at least.
That AV is crafty like that. At first, it has a lot of power but after you defeat it over and over it loses most of that. I haven't craved a drink in probably over 5 years but I was in danger of relapse this last year and didn't even know it. It was waiting for me to get down about something and then it would have come out with that line that I can moderate. I busted it out before that happened only because I check up my recovery