Originally Posted by
celebration123 
I think I was a pretty well adjusted person pushed to the limit. Im left with wounds and behaviours that require work! Certainly allowing myself to look forward and not dwell on what “should” have been is a priority I think.
I think you have a really good view of all this celebration. It is inevitable, that some dysfunction arises.
We talk a lot here about detaching, about ensuring that people don't get caught up in trying to manage a person's alcoholism and/or recovery and this is one of the key reasons why.
I think not dwelling or putting any weight on what "should" have been is really very important as you mentioned. But it can be hard! That's where support and talking it out and reading and Al-Anon can be so helpful for anyone.