Originally Posted by
soberbythesea 
Drank last night. No excuses. Not blaming anyone but myself. I cooked dinner and split a bottle of wine with the bf. Nothing bad happened but I of course feel physically worse this morning. Tired, thirsty, and not motivated or focused at work.
I can't seem to get it together right now. I guess that part of me is not fully committed to sobriety. Obviously, right? I kind of keep getting sucked back in by the "but maybe I can moderate" thing. Or, "it's just tonight." But I should know that that hasn't worked the past 1,000 times I tried. I should know that even if it seems like it's working now, eventually it won't. I also know that, as Dee has reminded me, there's no such thing as a free pass with addiction. Drinking is always a bad idea even if nothing bad immediately happens. I know this. And yet.
I really need some clarity right now on what my goals are and I know that no one else can provide that but me. It might not even be fair to post here right now, but I feel like being around SR has got to be better than not being around.
Of course it's fair and perfectly fine love.....talking this stuff through helps us to find clarity. Talk through your goals if you would like to...I know writing things down helps me find my truth.
I can hear you are still in the stage of questioning this, and there is nothing wrong with that. There is no requirement to have stopped drinking all the way in order to be part of this wonderful community....we help and support each other in whatever way is needed.
If I had had people who understood me in my 30s that I could talk to I would have made this decision years ago. As it was, it was tell people who were unimpressed with me (family) or talk to AA friends who kept saying things like "maybe you are not ready".
Um, I was ready. I just needed to answer my questions around this first. So talk as much as you like about this.
So glad you are here love.
❤️