Originally Posted by
brighterday1234 
Hi 👋 Stay close to SR and i’d recommend going to AA meetings. We’re extremely lucky in the UK that we have tons of AA meetings every day of the week of many different formats and with lots of extremely lengthy and quality sobriety. There will be lots there who have experienced or are experiencing bereavement similar to yourself.
Actually although my drinking has got worse recently I've always been a heavy drinker though nowhere near as bad as now and I have been to AA before. The last time I went I gave a long share on my life, people came up to me afterwards and hugged me and said it was a good share. I got able to be quite frank about my drinking and learnt a lot from aa but after that last time I got very depressed afterward, maybe I should have kept it short. Also I felt someone was laughing at me although my sponsor said no that he was laughing at her, maybe we were just both being paranoid. I didn't want to go back after that. I know there are some lovely people that go and I really used to enjoy the shares. They were very interesting the things people got up to.
Even thirty years ago I had some very enjoyable evenings drinking with my father after a stressful day.We used to wait for my mother to go to bed which was quite early , we were night owls and then sneak out to the stash in the garage. My dad used to like a drink too but he drank less at one sitting though more often. Heliked his wine, port, whiskey and our then favourite, carlsberg special (which isn't as strong now as it used to be. He still made it to 91 years old. He got gout and I think his enzymes were high and kept saying he,d give up but decided in the end that and TV were his only pleasures in life.
Unfortunately Ive had a lot of pleasure from drinking and it made me feel physically wonderful, like jumping out of an aeroplane and floating through the air to the ground (not that I've ever done that but it felt quite thrilling)
But maybe one day I'll return to aa