Thank you so much for all the replies
It's so lovely to read all the replies. I'm very grateful, I feel quite tearful.
i don't think anyone has Said much anything nice to me in a very long while. Except my 6 year old granddaughter who tells me she loves me (she calls me her play grandma because even though I'm over 60 I'm also a big kid and play games with her - there's some fantastic toys these days such as Playmobil sets)
I've been trying to babysit everyday as my Dil has been poorly. They live 20Mins away but I'm finding it too much. It's not life threatening but causes her a lot of pain and she needs pain killers.
Unfortunately we live in an old house that takes a lot of keeping up and so I have a huge back load of work here with stuff to do in the house. Of course this hasn't gone down very well husband, but he's very independent and doesn't seem to need me much, not as much as my grandchildren.
But I can't go on liKe this. I will have to get on with the house and cut down babysitting to about three days a week. I feel awful and very guilty about this and I don't think my Dil is happy about this. She doesn't understand how stressed I feel. I'm going to have to put my foot down somehow and it's going to be very hard. I always want to say yes of course I'll come.
I've collected too much stuff over the years, mainly arts and crafts thing, oil paints, canvas when they were going cheap and on offer. Also beads, yarn for crocheting. I was hoping to get on with it in old age but there's so much sorting to do first. I've got quite a few projects on the go but have left them all as I've had to move a lot of things into my room to get the other rooms done and it's out of hand now.
I'm a binge drinker but my last binge was rediculous lasting a week of drinking wine and a lot of it. I'm on my 2nd day without, only because I was too Ill to go out for more and then as I got sober to Ill with a hangover to drink water except for sips. I've just had my first food this afternoon also a vitamin b pill. I'm in the UK so I'm on a different timescale from a lot here. I'm still feeling rough, dizzy and no energy but sober.