I can relate to this. When I was drunk, I cared about very little. It was easier to drink than to live life as a productive person actively showing up in my life. Lets face it, getting sober is hard, but so is living life drunk. Pick your hard JPA.
This is going to sound harsh, because it is harsh. Reread your post.. Do you see how selfish your thought process is? Have you tried a recovery program? AA, SMART. I was very selfish too, so I get it. I do AA, and was once a never AAer. It has changed my life. I couldnt imagine life without drinking. Now I cant believe how long I lived in that misery.
Do you want to be sober? How long have you gone without a drink in the last 6 months?
Alot of people choose #2. Both of my parents picked 2 and orphaned me.