Originally Posted by Linners820

I'm back from my trip. Everything was beautiful, no desire to drink when I was there. The drive home was incredibly stressful and ended up taking closer to 6 hours instead of 4, due to traffic, bad weather, etc. My nerves felt shot, so what did I do last night? I drank. Like I was on auto-pilot. Of course I'm deeply regretting it now. At the time it felt like the only way to relax and unwind, and the "I deserve it" voice started happening. Wishing I was stronger and smarter than this.

Originally Posted by Linners820

Thanks, Pelagic. Like you I thought a leisurely glass of wine would be just the thing. No. It was the whole bottle, and then the drunken texts started. I ended up contacting someone who deeply hurt me months ago, something I would never have done sober. I feel embarrassed and quite ridiculous for rehashing something that really needs to remain in the past. I managed to "unsend" the messages before they were seen (at least I believe so), but I'm upset with myself for contacting this person to begin with. I wish that I had just settled in with a cup of Sleepy-time tea for the evening and went to bed early instead.

I'm not going to use this as an excuse to keep drinking, though. I'm here, and I'm still trying. Typing this out helps some. I tend to fall off and then want to avoid the forum/class because I don't want to admit I failed but that's not going to help me grow.