I'm back from my trip. Everything was beautiful, no desire to drink when I was there. The drive home was incredibly stressful and ended up taking closer to 6 hours instead of 4, due to traffic, bad weather, etc. My nerves felt shot, so what did I do last night? I drank. Like I was on auto-pilot. Of course I'm deeply regretting it now. At the time it felt like the only way to relax and unwind, and the "I deserve it" voice started happening. Wishing I was stronger and smarter than this.