ironwill……put another way....it is not about a "stupid mug".....the way I see it, it is about feelings unexpressed. I don't think that it is the first time that you have held in your hurt feelings, from interactions with your wife.
Like the saying...."If you are arguing about the bedroom slippers, you are really arguing about something bigger that you are too afraid to discuss"...…
to be very candid....I would think that most women would find being with an "almost robot-like" partner to be less than satisfying....I know that I would. In fact, I divorced my first husband, in part because he was so emotionally unavailable....(not enough love language of any kind....lol)….
If one wants expressions of love and emotion and attention.....then, doesn't it make sense that it is a two way street...that one needs to give as well as receive....and, I am speaking of frequent and fluid expressions of love the way she NEEDS to receive it....
Do you think it is possible that she pulled back from you to protect herself from disappointment in the emotional bleakness of your marriage....and, leaned toward anyone else who showed that kind of attention to her....?
That does happen, you know...I have seen it...if one doesn't get their emotional needs met at home..they will be attracted to attention that is offered elsewhere...…
I felt that way in m y first marriage....and, I knew that I couldn't live without my normal human emotional needs being met....so, I divorced h I m in order to have the opportunity to find it elsewhere in the world....I knew that divorce would be a better choice than to have some kind of affair or to grow to resent him more, or live a life of continuous disappointment.
He jus never "got it". When I told him that I was filing for divorce...his comment was...."That is ridiculous. This is a perfectly happy marriage. I am very happy. You are never satisffied".....
That was a very long time ago....and, I hear (through the children and the grapevine( that he hasn't changed one bit.
For me, I was sooo much happier as a single mother...and, did find a wonderful love, 6years later. I was in my late 20's when we divorced. I have never regretted the decision to get my own emotional needs met...….