I hear you. This sucks. I was the one that left my XAH but he was clearly building some sort of trauma bond with a woman from the sober living house while still trying to get me back, and was just a giant exposed nerve while he was trying not to drink, so he has been tearing through new relationships.

He showed up this morning for his daytime visit with our daughter with the fourth new girlfriend since April.

I know it feels like hell, but you are exceedingly likely to be better off for having been dropped now then sticking this out, and being there for the next 12 relapses. Sorry that I am not optimistic, but most people don’t actually quit drinking, and my gut says that starting a relationship with an employee from a rehab it does not bode well here, so I would try to avoid thinking about it like you had all the bad years and now some idiot sweeps in and takes your newly sober woman just when things were going to get good.

There was enough else wrong with my relationship that I had no intention of going back even if he was magically sober forever. But I also felt crappy to think I got all the drunk years and then he was going to be great for someone else. It didn’t happen. He had a brief sober period and now is as much or more of a disaster than ever.

I am sorry you are in pain. I hope that one year from now you, like me, will be thanking your lucky stars for not being in that situation anymore.