You BOTH went through an extremely stressful time, being stalked and harassed, business problems, etc. etc. Then she was hit with post-partum depression, right?
It sounds like you both drank to cope with a severely horrendous time.
Lots of people self-medicate with alcohol during stressful times.
The difference between you two is--you were able to STOP and she couldn't.
Who knows why---genetics, disease, she didn't have as good of coping skills, previous trauma, mental illness became exacerbated due to post-partum depression, wrong meds prescribed.
Whatever the reason, it doesn't really matter WHY at this point.
She became an alcoholic.
Rehab didn't help and, in fact, made it MUCH MUCH worse.
She was tormented, tortured almost, by the staff and then became friends with people she would never have associated with before.
It turned your beautiful wife into a trashy hood-rat. (Your words, not mine. Not being judgemental, just don't want to sound harsh.)
I'm only summarizing this to try and wrap my brain around your family's situation.
The stalking and harassment seems like where your lives began to really get (understandably) derailed.
Did she hold it together during these years while also being pregnant then dealing with post-partum depression and your other children?
Have your Dr.s discussed the possibility of both of you having PTSD?