Vovo, this time will pass and you will feel happy again. I promise. One of my close friends is going through the same with her dad. He's just been moved to a hospice. When I speak to her, it brings up all the memories of when my dad was dying and I try to use my experience to help her but really all you can do to get through it is to go through it. I feel guilty when I'm talking to her that my life is happy and calm right now. I don't have any hospice visits, decisions to make about DNR, I've almost sorted out administering my dad's estate, my life is moving on. But it makes me realise that when I was going through it, I needed to speak to people who weren't; they were my greatest support back then. I wanted to hear about normal, non-hospice life. And now that I'm not going through it, I can give support to those who are. And when I go through it again, they'll be there to support me. The mechanics of life. I believe that's why us humans are given so much empathy. We're able to take up the slack when others need the support. Vovo, what you're going through is huge and you need to be kind to yourself. It's so important that you're kind to yourself. Do what you need to do each day but take time every day to let your feelings and emotions matter. Feel them, really allow yourself to feel them, without judgement and then tell yourself that you're here for you. And remember that we're all here for you too xxx
You too, James. Great attitude about the money. Resentment and bitterness aren't going to reduce the bill; a payment plan is definitely the answer. I love how you are always so keen to accept your responsibility in everything James. Make sure you remember to give yourself credit too. A pat on the back here or there for all the stuff you're doing right today doesn't condone any mistakes you may have made in the past. It's just a more honest evaluation of yourself. Because you're doing amazingly well James and you're allowed to feel proud about that. I feel super proud of you.
Love to everyone and 24 more of feeling feelings for me please. I read yesterday that 'feelings are the fuel of life' and I reckon if that's true, some of us have been running on empty for quite some time. I'm going to try to welcome all feelings and accept them as they are. Without judgement and without letting my mind run the show. Recovery is so deep, isn't it? It's like diving into deep water and everytime I think I'm reaching the bottom, I realise I've actually only reached a little resting ledge and there's still so keep much for me to explore. But whereas the water near the surface was rough and choppy and scary, the deeper I seem to dive, the calmer, more tranquil and beautiful the water seems to become. Sometimes it doesn't feel like I'm diving into the unknown anymore. Sometimes the deep water of recovery feels like the safest place in the world. It feels like coming home xxxxx