Lawry

Hi,

I went to an AA meeting last night. It's my second ever meeting, although the first was about a year and a half ago. I went because I've struggled to put more than a few days sobriety together since ending an 8 month sober streak in September.

I think it was a step meeting but there was also an open floor after. It started with people taking it in turns to read from Step 2. Then a guest speaker had the floor for a while, then the chairperson said a few words then the floor was opened. I think I had mixed feelings about the whole thing. When I first walked in, quite a few people smiled warmly and a couple introduced themselves. A lady gave me a list of all local meetings in the area. I really enjoyed the guest speakers share and also most of the other people who spoke I really enjoyed. I got a bit frustrated near the end because I thought these things only lasted an hour and I had promised someone I would pick them up from somewhere and don't like to be late. It started to go past the hour and I was getting frustrated. I wished this guy who was speaking would just shut up. I didn't want to leave and appear rude but in the end I had to go so I still don't know what time that meeting was scheduled to finish.

I was kind of hoping to see someone a bit like me there, I guess what I'd consider normal. I was also a bit put off as it seemed most of the people who shared were the kind of alcoholics who drank every day and kept nipping off to the toilets for a swig. Now I have done this myself on occasion but my problem is really centred around binging. I can easily go days without a desire to drink but when I do drink I do so to excess, often making myself sick in order to make more room for more. My worst binge was four days straight, from the moment I woke up until the moment I passed out. That was a long time ago, now it's really one day or one night binges but still enough to drive me crazy. Being married definately centres me to a certain extent, without it I may well be a daily drinker. There was a guy there who said he spent his early AA experiences looking for the differences, looking for an excuse to quit trying. Maybe that's what I'm doing.

Anyway, the next meeting I can definately make will be Friday, although I'm hoping to make a Thursday lunchtime session as well. I'm going to give this AA a chance. It was a much better experience that my first meeting which was so early in the morning I struggled to stay awake !

thanks
Lawry.