Taking a break?
Alcohol has played a powerful role in my life for about a decade, since I was 21. It was a way to unwind, have fun with friends, cope with anxiety and cope with trauma (my parents are full-blown alcoholics which caused me to have a chaotic upbringing). Cannabis entered my life more recently, within the last couple of years- also to cope with anxiety and to feel more creative.
Most of the time I am able to moderate my drinking so I don't have (much of) a hangover in the morning. I even go 1-2 days without alcohol pretty regularly. Recently I've noticed that my tolerance has increased- I can drink a bottle of wine and still function just fine the following day, but that's all I'm doing- functioning. Alcohol has been this tether, keeping me from addressing the source of my anxieties but also preventing me from flourishing.
I was at a research showcase last week and one of the presenters spoke about research into resistance exercise as adjunct therapy for recovery from alcohol use disorders. I know I drink well outside of the 'safe' guidelines and it just hit me that I need to give it a rest for a bit. So that's what I planned on, maybe taking a month off. But the more I read about addiction from people who have been through recovery, the more I realise I really should just stop. I can't see it now, but I know deep down that a sober lifestyle will be worth it in the end.
I hope I can get through the cravings, it was a struggle late this afternoon (bloody beautiful day, perfect for cracking open a nice beer or bubbles) but I made myself busy and by evening was content and glad I didn't give in. It would have been easy, we've got heaps of wine and liquor in the house, which I suppose I should get rid of. I don't think giving up cannabis is going to be as big of an issue, I haven't used any in a few weeks and don't feel any urge despite it being in a box right next to where I'm currently sitting.
My partner also abuses alcohol, similar quantities as me, and periodically has a sober month. He's in it with me this month after a particularly excessive night out with the boys (this was after my own revelation). We haven't talked about how far we'll take this, because we can be both one another's strongest support systems but also enablers if we're both feeling like falling off the bandwagon- dangerous mix. We just don't appear to be the type of people that can just have one or limit our drinking to special occasions.
I'm not really sure what I'm getting at. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated. Today is one week since my last drinks.