Hey Rd! Good to see you still posting here. It would be great if the spouses could get and stay fully on board, wouldn’t it? Even if your wife doesn’t drink heavily, it isn’t doing anything for her, and it sure is nice not having booze around.

I didn’t think my husband would ever stop drinking either. He refuses to follow another person’s lead on anything, he’s so set in his ways and stubborn, and he’s been drinking heavily his entire adult life. (He’s in his mid 50s now.)

I think for me, accepting that my husband will never stop drinking was what it took for me to realize that I have to act as an individual and do this alone, for myself, never mind him or anyone else.

I don’t know what spurred him into wanting a change. As far as I could tell, he was staunchly opposed to ever quitting alcohol until the day he poured it out.

He’s commented about the positive changes he’s seen in me and has also expressed concerns about his long term health, so it’s probably a few things that finally motivated him. Also, we’ve had a few things happen that involved having to jump in the car and go, and thank god I was sober and able to step up. I think he felt crappy about not being able to do that.

I encourage him when he brings it up, which isn’t often. Like when he mentioned wishing his La Croix were a glass of wine, I just said “6:00 am You will thank 6 pm You for drinking that La Croix instead of wine.” I got that line, or at least a version of it, from this forum. He liked it and has used it a few times. Other than that, he’s handling things on his own, just letting me know here and there how I can support him.

Who knows if he’ll stick with it. It would be cool, but I don’t get overly invested in any particular outcome. Im trying to be realistic. And I’m afraid if I show him too much enthusiasm, I’ll scare him off. 😄

Anyway, maybe your wife will eventually want to ditch her wine for good. Maybe not. You’ve always had a really good attitude about your sobriety, and I bet she’s at least noticing this as a positive thing.