Dysfunctional households produce "independent" kids (broad generalization but it's my experience). What choice do you have except to be independent in a household where fires are constantly being battled?
Obligation vs wanting to participate, high tolerance for unhappy situations, problem solving. All of these can be strong attributes of an adult child of an alcoholic (ACOA). But that's a whole different kettle of fish.
So, the confusing part is that I feel so processed and at terms with things, I feel like I had really good parents as a child who like all of us were struggling with their own growth and issues. Yet I don't think super highly of them simply because I know so many things a son shouldn't know about their parents.
Can you give an example?