Hey folks, I like to see my name on the list, and I love being sober, in recovery and learning every day.
With that in mind, I’ll take another 24 hours of sobriety please. I feel like all I want to do is run away right now, but you cannot run from something in your own head. That’s why I drank and took drugs.
Time now to stop running. I’m not scared anymore. I’m incredibly angry, disappointed and humiliated by some of the things I’ve said and done over the years, and justified to myself and others. But not scared. Time to put on my big boy pants and begin to grow up.
I have a huge amount to be grateful for, although I’m prone to overlook those things when I begin to feel sorry for myself.
At the moment, all I can do is try to be kind, gentle, considerate and loving. These are all qualities that I’ve always had but I never figured out how to apply them to myself. I must focus on the here and now instead of what ifs and maybes.
The only amends I can make right now is a living one, by just trying to do the next right thing and be the best person I can. God will never give me more than I can handle, and the bad days will always wake me up to the things I wasn’t paying attention to (Robin Williams).
I’m off to bed with some chocolate and Russell Brand’s ‘recovery ‘.
Peace and love
James