Hi BackandScared,
From my perspective, you're still early on. It probably feels a lot longer to you!
For what it's worth, my experience was pretty much this:
First year: I was constantly vigilant. Lots of posting and AA meetings (including steps with a sponsor). My life centered around staying away from a drink. It was really hard. Lots of firsts: first Christmas without alcohol, first birthday without, etc.
Second year: I started to enjoy life a little more. I started to trust that I could keep this going, even though I was still a little scared of relapsing. It started to feel a little easier.
Third year: Mostly easy, but a rough patch and near relapse when a relationship ended badly. I was shocked at how quickly the urge to drink came back, but I managed it with the help of friends, AA meetings, and applying what I'd learned about how to deal with emotions without drinking.
Fourth year and beyond: It's normal to me not to drink now. I honestly don't think much about it. I still stay connected to recovery, partly because it helps me and partly because I like helping other people. I can't imagine drinking again.
That being said, I don't take my recovery for granted. I can go to bars if I'm with other people and there's a reason for me to be there and I don't stay long. I can go to parties if the primary purpose is socializing. I can be around alcohol and have even bought wine as presents for other people. But I don't forget that it's like keeping a lion as a pet. If I get too lax, it could kill me.
I could relapse, nothing in this world is certain. But I'm positive that as long as I do the things I've done, I'll be ok. I stay honest with myself, deal with my emotions, don't entertain thoughts that I can drink, don't hang out in places or with people whose only purpose is to drink. (I have lots of friends who drink, but they're real friends. As opposed to drinking buddies who have long since disappeared.)
It really has gotten easier. Give it time. It's a pretty big adjustment. I think you'll be ok.
PS To answer your question, I don't know when it happened, but 99% of the time, I'm completely relaxed and unworried about drinking.