Good job on day 3- sounds like you need to get sober for good, indeed.
Antabuse is a TOOL - how about a plan of recovery action? What have you tried before, and are you willing to do something NOW? Repeated sober/drinking phases are only destructive.
Extreme emotions are to be expected - but the only way to keep going thru them and eventually get to a place of acceptance and peace and real recovery is to not drink. Today, and every day.
Good luck.