Thank you all for the advice and support. I had to take a Xanax last night. It knocked me out. It’s the first time in awhile I stayed asleep until now or even this late (6am).

I’m getting the impression it only gets worse. I can’t imagine getting better. In the 4+ years we’ve been together, he’s never been this violent. No clue why now. Not sure what started it - other than he’s catching on to the fact I’m done putting up with his BS - perhaps desperation is setting in.

Oh I forgot about this gem, I had a minor medical procedure the week before last. I was slightly sedated for. I had no one else who could drive me, had to ask him as much as I hated it. I was in/out of sleep on way home. Can you believe he slammed his brakes so hard, I was thrown forward in my seat and hit the dashboard. What did he do, laugh. Loud and long. I should’ve had my seatbelt on but when you’re sedated you don’t know or always think of that. I asked why he did it. Because it’s funny he said.

i dont understand how people can be so rude. I don’t understand why this is happening. I need the strength to get the help and have him removed. I’m afraid this will get much worse.