Forgiveness to self???
Not likely soon. The self damage I did- well, obvious..just need to look at 20% of me having burns scars. But also nearly every adult memory I get- has booze in it. What I DO- is compromise. Pre burns me- nope, bad, pathetic, ruinous.
Post burns- I am satisfied AND I accept who I was then, is not me- now. Acceptance is a step towards forgiving myself. I was raised and worked in places where one did not show positives for oneself- pride cometh... From trauma and experiences- I am different me, feeling, thinking and learning differently.
I understand to fully embrace recovery - I have to keep doing the exhausting work of repairing myself- to heal and grow.
And that is something, at least.