AnvilheadII: Spot on. I am the family and caregiver and I am not doing the best job for her. I know it. Especially when consumed by my own worry and grief. Thank you.
Trail and NYC: your points are well made. Sometimes I think that if I don't get it all figured out instantly that it is hopeless and that I should run to her. small steps, I can't run towards her in the good or the bad.
Ugh.