your last update was just about a month ago exactly....your OP here is that AW was "doing well after detox"....just trying to get the timeline right here. so sometime after 8/11 she went to detox, which is a 3 day dry out event. meaning that at most she had a couple WEEKS sober? and ya'll started hanging out again.
then supposedly she was "waiting" for a bed at inpatient and...here's a surprise.......picked up drinking again.
NOBODY gets all better after detox.
NOBODY gets all better in 2 weeks, 4 weeks, 36 weeks.
she has a lot more issues that just alcohol. simply taking that out of the equation for a short period of time changes NOTHING.
it bothers me a bit when the non-addict partner who has a child or children says that the FAMILY is torn apart. the parent and child ARE a family, it's just that one of the members BAILED. you and your DD ARE family. never ever forget that. it would probably be best to continue to limit/restrict how much interaction DD has with the still drinking, still out of control "parent". the now you see, now you don't can REALLY mess up a little kid's head.
with their limited experience and resources to draw on, they will often assume that they are somehow faulty or at fault. everybody else's mommy comes home each day, sleeps in the house each night. why not mine?
continuing to focus on YOUR loneliness and HER absence only further expands the void - the child can see it, feel it. time to close up that gap and embrace your "family" as it is today.