Sitia, hon, there is no shame in seeking help. In fact, if you do you can likely break out of the place you are in and enter into a different, wonderful world by processing the pain you carry. Being sober is an added bonus for you. Please take that step to get help. If one counselor doesn't work, then find another. I can't tell you how much that helped me out of my shame.
You deserve to break free of the burden of shame. I know I didn't feel like I was worth it, but I was. Get going. Life is waiting for you to ENJOY!!! Let us know how you're doing. We don't know you but we can relate and we care. xoxo