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Old 09-14-2019, 09:50 AM
  # 34 (permalink)  
Lucinda2
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 652
Phoenix, over 15yrs ago I quit drugs after 24yrs of intravenous use. I don't know exactly how long ago it was because I did that on my own so counting clean-time has never been a thing like it is in fellowships. I pretty much applied AVRT to the big quit without even knowing that there was such a thing.

Like your cognitive trauma, there is some nasty residue. There is some physical damage but mainly I got off lightly all things considered. For me the trauma is around the terrible things I did to others in my addiction and perhaps even more awful the things I didn't do, the times I simply wasn't there. I think possibly one might call it PTS - the replay is frequent. One of my goals for this year is to get some counselling around this. I don't think it will ever go away, but maybe I can lower the noise and be more present/less stuck in a loop. So yes, I think you are right that out-putting in a fixed arena such as journalling or counselling might help contain it and stop it spilling so much into everyday life. Walking around with a lot of 'stuff' does make it difficult to avoid the quagmire of self-obsession.

You made me smile with your concern about wandering into Weirdsville. I often wonder if I am becoming a crazy old lady. But it is okay if I am. I shall wear purple and buy a red hat. There is even a Red Hat Society so I won't be alone.

I think you are pretty amazing! I hope you don't mind but I have taken a look at some of your threads on this forum and seen just the tip of what you have to deal with. My hat comes off to you. Everything you have to deal with and you still give so much.

It has been lovely talking to you. Thanks for what you have done for me this week.
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